My Life (with a nod to Billy Joel)

Stuart Owen is a British author born in 1964 in Brighton, England. Despite being born with a significant facial deformity, Stuart has always had a passion for the performing arts, music, and comedy. He's been married twice, but not for romantic reasons - he just loves cake

Stuart's eclectic tastes in music, from Supertramp to Punk Rock, have influenced his writing style. He's met famous people, traveled the world without paying for it (he's a bit of a scoundrel ), and even made Bernard Manning laugh in a toilet in Leeds (true story ).

When he's not writing, Stuart can be found cheering on his beloved Brighton & Hove Albion football club, grumbling about cyclists, or using colorful language to express himself. He currently resides in Burgess Hill, England, where he's working on his next book.

If, after being made aware of the above, you're still planning on reading his book, then by all means, go ahead. If, however, you're easily offended, or a cyclist, or French, this might not be the book for you