My Horror Within

Maybe I'm the broken one. I think there is something wrong with me. How does this keep happening to me? How the hell do I keep finding myself in this position. Why do I believe in people?

Can life get better? Or is this all I deserve in life? You learn to survive, you're always in survival-mode, running on autopilot.

Terrified, you walk around on eggshells, just waiting for the blow up or the next thing I haven't done to his standards.

If only I did things better, or wasn't a smart-ass around your friends. Maybe if I didn't stand up for myself. Or maybe next I would be dead.

Now, I can breathe again. Life is not as hard. But I wonder how the hell I got my life so wrong. Because if this is your love, I don't want it. I feel more isolated now than ever before. Now I live day to day. I only focus on my little boy, protecting him as much as I can.

Wow. Now I'm in the fight of my life. In a blink of eye. I hear a voice, open your eyes. Are you with me now? Do you know where you are? I slowly open my eyes. I want to say, in a spaceship. I'm pretty sure though it's a hospital somewhere.

Petrified I'm going to be a quadriplegic. All I know is I have one long, hard road ahead.

Could this be it? Could this finally break me?