Instigator of Joy; Becoming My Own Fairy Godmother In this magical and moving memoir, the author traces how she first let herself be cut off from joy and then, after thirty years, how she navigated her way back. Hundreds of miles from family and friends, feeling trapped in a bad marriage, with a new baby to care for and his dead twin to grieve, Nancy overcame isolation and abuse, stopped shrinking and silencing herself, and found her way back into the light - to dance in it and also, to hold it high for you.