If My Past Wasn't so Dark...My Future Wouldn't Shine so Bright

During the time I was dealing with my mother and her reactions to Mike's apparent abuse of me no one ever knew I had been victimized again, several times. The boyfriends at the time of my aunt Camille and Kim had been told of my abuse and apparently thought it was a good idea to try also. A part of me blamed my aunts for telling my secrets. I never spoke to anyone of these secrets out of fear of loosing more family. I know you're probably reading this wondering why I didn't tell anyone, well if you read the rest of this book I would think you could understand. I didn't want to mess up anyone else's home or happiness. I mean these were my aunts, the very people who were helping me through it all at the time. I didn't think holding on to those secrets affected my life much but in the summer of 2010 I decided to release this burden. I told Camille of what her boyfriend had done to me crying through my entire confession. I begged her not to be mad at me and prayed this secret wouldn't affect our relationship; after all we have become really close over the years. Camille couldn't believe what I was saying although she wasn't in denial, she had lots of questions and she began to cry also. She wanted to know if any of her other boyfriends had tried anything with me or to me and I told her no. Telling her the role her boyfriend played was like lifting a forty pound weight off my shoulders. Until this day I have not yet told Kim of what her boyfriend had done. He is actually responsible for taking my virginity. I figure it took me more that twenty years to tell Camille and although I will tell Kim, it'll just take me more time to do so.