Fruits of Culture: A comedy in four acts

Extract: FRUITS OF CULTURE ACT I The entrance hall of a wealthy house in Moscow. There are three doors: the front door, the door of Leon d Fy doritch's study, and the door of Vas ly Leon ditch's room. A staircase leads up to the other rooms; behind it is another door leading to the servants' quarters. Scene 1. GREGORY looks at himself in the glass and arranges his hair, &c.] I am sorry about those moustaches of mine "Moustaches are not becoming to a footman," she says And why? Why, so that any one might see you're a footman, -else my looks might put her darling son to shame. He's a likely one There's not much fear of his coming anywhere near me, moustaches or no moustaches Smiling into the glass] And what a lot of 'em swarm round me. And yet I don't care for any of them as much as for that T nya. And she only a lady's-maid Ah well, she's nicer than any young lady. Smiles] She is a duck Listening] Ah, here she comes. Smiles] Yes, that's her, clattering with her little heels. Oh Enter T nya, carrying a cloak and boots. GREGORY. My respects to you, Taty na M rkovna. T NYA. What are you always looking in the glass for? Do you think yourself so good-looking? GREGORY. Well, and are my looks not agreeable? T NYA. So, so; neither agreeable nor disagreeable, but just betwixt and between Why are all those cloaks hanging there? GREGORY. I am just going to put them away, your ladyship Takes down a fur cloak and, wrapping it round her, embraces her] I say, T nya, I'll tell you something ... T NYA. Oh, get away, do What do you mean by it? Pulls herself angrily away] Leave me alone, I tell you GREGORY looks cautiously around] Then give me a kiss T NYA. Now, really, what are you bothering for? I'll give you such a kiss Raises her hand to strike]. VAS LY LEON DITCH off the scene, rings and then shouts] Gregory T NYA. There now, go Vas ly Leon ditch is calling you. GREGORY. He'll wait He's only just opened his eyes I say, why don't you love me? T NYA. What sort of loving have you imagined now? I don't love anybody. GREGORY. That's a fib. You love Simon You have found a nice one to love-a common, dirty-pawed peasant, a butler's assistant T NYA. Never mind; such as he is, you are jealous of him VAS LY LEON DITCH off the scene] Gregory GREGORY. All in good time....