Divorce

There are two ways that divorcing husbands and wives can employ the law. The first, which isemployed by divorce lawyers, is to use law as a weapon in a legal tug of war the object of whichis simply to get as much as you can and to give as little as you have to. The other, employed bydivorce mediators, is to use the law as a common framework that husbands and wives can lookto in their effort to conclude an agreement. To be sure, a divorce lawyer will not characterize theundertaking in those terms. Rather, he will say that its purpose is to secure their legal rights andconclude an agreement that is fair and equitable. Unfortunately, its effect will be to give them falselevels of expectation that will then be followed by equivalent levels of disappointment. The purpose of this book is twofold. First, to help divorcing husbands and wives better understandthis so that they do not allow divorce lawyers to send them off on a fool s errand going nowhere. Second, to enable them to see and accept what a divorce lawyer s window dressing is designed tohide, namely, that it is not possible to find perfect solutions to imperfect problems. Contrary to whatdivorce lawyers would have them believe, their divorce does not take place in a different world thantheir marriage. It takes place in the same world, and that world is one of inevitable constraint andhuman limitation.