Adventures of a Middle-aged Fart

Grab a glass of wine and laugh out loud, occasionally gasp, or simply pity the antics of the author as he toils up mountains (and occasionally falls down them), perspires and curses his way across the south of France, becomes a sailor (even though he can't swim), narrowly avoids plunging over a cliff edge (several times), haggles his way (badly) across Morocco, buys chocolate from a Kalashnikov wielding Serbian, and escapes from drug-crazed bovines in Montenegro before finally witnessing a Class Action lawsuit against a tree in America... Your adventure starts here.