Wineskin

"e;A kind man placed a cigarette between my lips, and perhaps when it fell, the earth itself drew a breath from me through gravity. A worm in my mind felt a surge of ecstasy. Yet the pangs of conscience never left; I still felt the pain. And when the raindrops later touched me, I knew that no roses would ever bloom from my cells-like a grain of wheat that rotted before it could die. Did you ever wish for something, something that might have saved you if it had happened? Yes, I wished. I wished I had cried. Perhaps a few drops of tears could have saved me, had I grieved without surrendering to despair."e;