The Child-Healthy Divorce

A framework for child-centred divorce from acclaimed psychoanalyst and award-winning author, Erica Komisar.

A good divorce is better than a bad marriage, but for children that doesn’t make the split any easier. Legal decisions have emotional consequences. Well-meaning parents can become hostile, insecure, or jealous, and well-adjusted kids can grieve the loss of the family unit, rage at the pain that they feel, or prey on parental guilt.

In The Child-Healthy Divorce, acclaimed psychoanalyst and award-winning author Erica Komisar marshals more than 30 years of clinical experience and extensive research to show readers how to make an effective plan that centres children’s needs, including how to talk about what’s happening, how to maintain normal routines, and what to know about kids of different ages. For example, interrupting a child’s attachment with the primary caregiver before age three can lead to behavioural problems later in life. Teens going to college also need a stable home as a foundation to establish their own independence.

With numerous case studies and practical strategies, the book shows parents how to create age-appropriate custody arrangements, reassure kids without invalidating their feelings, and build a positive support system. It also provides helpful guidance about new partners, blended families, and other special situations. Most importantly, it offers hope.

No one with kids wants a divorce, but if that step becomes necessary, this book can help readers establish the emotional security that their children need for success in life.