The Boys in the Band

I acquired my first guitar at the tender age of five. From that moment on, I knew that one day I would become a famous ‘pop star’. I even had the name of my band, ‘Phil Star and The Falling Stars’. But… childhood dreams don’t always come true; things don’t always work out as planned. In this lifelong search for stardom, life has taken me along many routes, every one enjoyable and each with a mass of tales worth telling. However impossible some of these tales may sound, I assure you that every single one of them is as true as I remember. Sometimes my chronology isn’t quite accurate; sometimes names and places have genuinely been forgotten and substituted, but they are all true. One of the main reasons for committing this particular period in time to paper before any other is that most of the guys who feature still get together and re-tell the stories over a few pints, quite a few, actually. The tears of laughter that these retellings create, decades later, plus the countless number of times that someone has said, ‘You ought to write a book’, has inspired me to do just that.

From the age of thirteen I had been playing in a semi-professional band, turning ‘pro’ almost as soon as I left school. This particular episode takes place between 1973 and 1979, mainly in the north-east of England. The shipbuilding had all but disappeared, but from Newcastle in the north to Darlington in the south, this area had become the clubland entertainment capital of the world: There were more working men’s clubs per square mile here than anywhere else on the planet. During this period I played with the two bands that feature in the following stories, namely, ‘Trigger’ and ‘Childs Play’. Both outfits were ‘cabaret’ bands, complete with pink catsuits, cleverly segued medleys of Beach-Boys hits, some slightly more than risqué stage comedy and a healthy contempt for bingo, committees, concert secretaries and anyone who didn’t think that the band was wonderful.

The main characters are Tony Grant, drums and vocals; Paul Farnell, bass guitar and vocals; Keith Andrews, keyboards and vocals plus yours truly on guitar and vocals for Childs Play. ‘Liccul’ Geoff Hayward, guitar and vocals with Tony, Paul and me for Trigger.

Link: https://youtu.be/ylIgoHM6Noo