Suicide Notes from an Almost Dead Soul

Ive always been trapped in what seemed to be two different realities. Feeling like I lived in two different bodies, I constantly felt stuck between the two. I knew one was who I wanted to be and the other was what I was becoming. Its difficult to know exactly who you are and who you want to be but not being able to become that person because youve become comfortable in the skin that has evolved around the person you no longer want to become. My depression became an alternate persona, and I, to this day, have trouble explaining it to people who havent been in a similar situation. People who have never experienced this will never know all the suffering that was attached to living like this. The person I wanted to be was active and outgoing; she had a passion for making the world hers, and she wasnt afraid of anything. But who I was for the majority of my life wanted to be alone, didnt see a future for myself, and thought Id be gone before my sixteenth birthday. The difference between these two people was like night and day, but internally, it felt like I was living two separate lives. I was in desperate need of help and needed to speak up before time ran out.