"Be a good person, and work hard so you don't have to be like me when you grow up." That was the mantra drilled into the young, tender, and impressionable mind of Cerah Whitlow (pronounced Sarah). So, that was what she set out to accomplish. Little did she know that the less you know going into it, the more failures you experience. The passion was there, the desire, the drive. However, the know-how was lacking. Faith and religious beliefs played both roles of help and hindrance. The result was a life full of contradictions and the psychological pains that go along with it.This book is not fiction. These are the journal entries, tear-stained entries, that Cerah used to process her experiences. Not only did she write to get the feelings out, but also she did it so that she wouldn't have to re-live those mistakes. She did it because she did not want to re-experience rejection, hurt, loss, rape, shame and self-degradation. She wrote it down, documented it, so that she would not forget it. She put them in this book so you would not have to experience those things. She wants you to learn from her mistakes and triumph where she fell short.