21st Century Latin

Maxime mei paenitet, vendidi uxorem tua in agora eBay.

I’m really sorry, I sold your wife on eBay.

(Shouted into a mobile phone)

Sum in longus quadrigarus!

I’m on the train!

Nuntiis meis non respondebat, ergo illam reliqui in LociMei.

She wasn’t replying to my emails, so I dumped her on MySpace.

Ego fleo?

Am I bovvered?

If Latin’s good enough for Caesar, it’s good enough for you. And some things just sound far better in the old tongue. No longer ‘the dead language’, Latin has been given a whole new lease of life in a manner befitting twenty-first-century folk and their daily chit-chat. From Sat Nav and MySpace to plastic surgery and bingedrinking, this language lover’s bible guarantees you’ll go down a storm when you’re invited to the Vatican.