The Screaming Codpiece: Ed Greenwood Foreword Edition

Outnumbered a thousand to one by the vast armies of his nemesis, Lactose the Intolerant, Nectar must somehow unite the Tardblivians or face annihilation. In doing so, he must come to grips with the horrific realization that it will take more than his well-oiled pecs, beefy pancreas, and rippling brains to save them. With little choice, he is forced to turn to an ancient weapon of terrifying power: the Screaming Codpiece. But as with all such things, wielding its incendiary strength comes at a terrible price and not even his burly groin can control the flaming devastation it will unleash upon the world....