Reflections On My Lives: An Adoptee's Story

Adoption touches so many lives that virtually everyone has an opinion about it. The knowledge that so many people willingly open their hearts and homes to accept an abandoned or orphaned child inspires great hope in the fundamental decency and generosity of humankind. As well it should. It is a truly wonderful gift of love to embrace a lost child and give him a secure home he would not otherwise have.But is that really all adoption is or can be? Is it being conducted in a way that truly balances the basic needs and fundamental rights of the adoptee and both affected families? How does it really feel to have all knowledge of your roots and medical history locked away, and how does that affect the adoptee's cognitive development and self-image? How would it feel to look in the mirror and see a reflection with no context, depth, or connection? How does it feel to have your true identity divided between two different families-one that raised you and one that gave you life? How would you feel if you were forced to choose between the two, but made to feel illegitimate in both?Drawing upon his own childhood and adult experiences, David tackles these difficult questions and explains how the bizarre circumstances surrounding his adoption affected him and inevitably drove him to seek out and find his biological roots. In the process, he teaches us how adoption, and the veil of secrecy surrounding it, can affect an adoptee's self-image and sense of identity. His search, and the incredible truth he ultimately learns from it, teaches us that there is far more to the adoption process than is commonly understood. His story illuminates the hidden irregularities, loss, and pain that underlie many adoptions and challenges our most basic and casual assumptions about the adoption process. In facing these truths and how they impacted his life, we learn why many adoptees feel that the adoption process should be improved to ensure that the inspirational promises of adoption can be realized by all.