This book, in the form of a memoir, is not a compilation of good deeds and recollections. There is nostalgia within, old pictures of family life, and diverse anecdotes. It leads the reader to the "e;why's"e; of major decisions and actions. It reveals a secret I held as a child and disguised as an adult. I am bisexual. It demonstrates the harm of being stigmatized by a large number of colleagues-and my parents-- who cannot discuss their perception of my sexuality with me but can only treat it negatively and passively. This story shows how my acceptance of the whole me and a determined reform of my interactions changed my life-and creativity. I could be a cowboy. I could dream of meeting a Maharaja.