Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

Well, here we are again, John Onion, friend. This time what's happened even worse. Each time something happens my life gets uglier, more terrible. So I've been betrayed again, used again, and again I blame myself mostly because I allow myself to be used and abused. My second fault losing complete control. Yet perhaps there's substance in that sudden burst of rage since I failed to kill her. My doing so would have led to my suffering even worse if that's possible given what I now have to endure. Bear with me, John Onion, friend.