God's Personality

God: Is the microphone onTesting, testing one, two, and threeAlright! So how about those gas prices huh!...Five dollars a gallon! Isnt that ridiculous?! Maybe if it was Five dollars a keg; people would be a little less angry. And you can only imagine how much it cost me every day; to travel from Heaven to earth, and the mileage on my new van is outrageous; so Ive decided to walk today. Well actually I only walked half-waysome friendly aliens saw me walking on the side of the Milky Way; so they offered me a ride. Speaking of aliens! Do you know why people hardly ever see them anymore?! Its not because theyre afraid of us; theyre afraid of our new gas prices. I mean yeah they may have enough gas to get here, but they may not be able to get back. I mean after all; they only get twenty-six light-years on the gallon. So now theyre trying more of an eco-friendly approach. The good news about that is you wont have to worry about them trying to invade the planet earth anymore. Why?! Because theyre eco-friendly now, and lately I find myself trying to conceal my identity from the world more and more now; because oil owners would stop and ask me, How come you just wont make more oil? Then I would politely respond, How come you guys just wont share the oil Ive already given you? I mean whats up with that?!