Conceptual Laws and Customs of Christmas

If Christmas had been a Jewish holiday, the laws and customs of Christmas would have been published, perhaps like in this satire.The detailed laws and customs cover the following; -Preparing for Christmas including when to start the preparations-The tree including the type and size-Decorating the tree including the need for symmetry-The Christmas lights including the types-Gifts and gift giving including when they may be opened and distinguishing between childish and adult gifts-The office party including where and when it should take place -The festive meals including what should be eaten at each meal-Santa Claus; the myths and reality -Rituals of the synagogue service for each service including when to say Hallel and with and without a blessing-Christmas and Chanukah; distinguishing between them