But That's Absurd

Paul is an ordinary lad who on waking up on an ordinary day, just cannot talk normally, mouthing occasional words but mostly struck dumb. A diagnosis from a top consultant informs him that his complaint is simply an inability to say out loud any word containing that most common sign in our ABC (it's found twixt "e;d"e; and "e;f"e;). A not uncommon affliction, as Paul quickly finds out. Coping with this incapacity finds Paul going through many alarming trials and tribulations-a walkout by his girl, a hair-raising trip in a wayward bus, a liaison with a prior Russian spy, implication in purloining a vast hoard of gold, absconding abroad with journalists on his tail and finally coaching high-ranking staff in a Paris Ministry with a similar vocal handicap. A litany you should find amusing-and simply absurd. In writing this ficticious diary (it's known as a "e;lipogram"e;on account of its total lack of that "e;sign"e;) our protagonist has constant support from Oulipo - an actual artisitic organisation promoting such constraints in composition.