People Change Like Seasons

At first, I thought I finally got over all of those life chapters while writing. But somewhere inside of me I wasn't healed from all of that at all. I don t feel the same anymore. Is It because I finally realized That I ve been living for others All this timeAnd not for myself..?Was I living for others and felt happy?Did I not live for myself all this time?It feels like a withdrawal symptom. How long will this last?I want to feel again Do I have to live for myself for that?But no one has ever taught me how to live. How to love me. I learned how to love others. I learned how to live with others. For others. To make them happy, made me happy. I never learned how to live and love myself. Is that why I m feeling weird? Because I want to make myself happy? Is that so?I don t feel the same anymoreI don t feel different either So, what is this feeling? Is this even a feeling? I don t even know anymore. Is it because of the people I have lived for? For someone like me they d choose not to die for? Have I lost myself by gaining you?