The Lame-Assed Doppelganger

What do you do when you've been replaced?

I come home from a vacation to find that another version of me has taken my place. He's living my life. He has my friends. He has my career. And what really sucks is that he's doing it all so much better than I ever could. Everyone loves him

I'm the real me, but he insists that he's the real me. Not cool. One of us has to go

Oh, and one more pesky little problem. Someone's trying to kill me.