Sunshine and the Stalker

Dating is difficult for someone like me.
I'm obsessive, arrogant, and rude.
This means I must be creative when bedding a woman.
I learn what I can about her through whatever means necessary.
Some call it stalking. I call it clever research.
It gets me what I want and when I want it.
When I get bored, I move on.
My system works like a charm...
Until a little ray of SUNSHINE shows up.

*

Dating is nonexistent for me.
I'm quirky, silly, and inexperienced.
This means my romantic life is certainly lacking.
I don't date because no one's interested.
Some say I'm an independent woman who doesn't need a man.
But I know I'm on the fast track to becoming a lonely cat lady.
How many cats are too many cats anyway?
My boring world stays that way...
Until my future stepmother's STALKER shows up.