Eighty Fists of Death

Well, like most stories; this one starts at the beginning. Jessica Biel is kidnapped. Van Damme's granny, Granny Damme, can't stand by while such a sweet girl is in the hands of a madman; and this madman happens to be Steven Seagal, who is the worst kind of madman. Justin Timberlake teams up with Granny Damme, and her cat Kurt Wussels to find Jessica and free her. Steven has other hostages, who he plans to kill while vacationing aboard a cruise ship. Oh, and he loves raptors. I can't tell you what happens; but yeah, that is like a mini spoiler or something.So read or don't; laugh or don't; be happy or don't.I got more shit to write; see ya