It's Okay to be Okay

One morning, I left for work as a wife. That afternoon, I came home as a widow. My husband passed away unexpectedly and I was not okay. I suffered from both depression and anxiety. I was worried about how to grieve and also be a single parent to three teenage boys that were grieving. I questioned how the God I believed in could allow this to happen to us.I returned to journaling as a way of coping and learning about who I was to become. Through my writing, my faith was strengthened and my trust in God grew into acceptance. I found joy. Everyone tells me its okay to still be grieving, no matter how long it has been. No one told me that it was okay to be okay 18 months after the loss; to have times of joy and laughter; to forget for bits of time and to go on. I needed to hear that. I want others to know that joy is possible. Faith is possible. Grief can be based on love and part of Gods plan.