This diary is an inside look into how a patient tried to make his life manageable with the use of traditional therapy, i.e., psychotherapy and pharmaceuticals. The reader is taken on a journey through the patient's attempts at dealing with life. Although prescribed with conventional medications, the patient still remained in a state of misery, so he began to self medicate with the use of marijuana. In a turn of events, the marijuana soon became more destructive than helpful. In this diary, philosophy and politics are explored by the patient. He philosophized about existence, relationships, and belief systems.